Art is BEAUTIFUL

I am not going to pretend that I know ANYTHING about art. 

I remember my poor mother trying to expose me to "culture" when I was young.  She took me to the ballet, to see different museums, and to view different works of art.  I have to admit, I didn't really get it when I was younger.  Even now, most abstract or modern art baffles me.  I just don't understand it.  I can't do out of the box thinking like that.  

I took an art history class in college.  It was crazy.  I had an ENORMOUS textbook that weighed more than at least one of my children at the time.  I learned about the different types of art, where their influences came from, and how to tell the difference between them all.  I remember almost nothing.

I do remember thinking how beautiful impressionist artwork seemed.  I love how the colors seem to blur harshly together when you look up close, but they almost magically come together to create almost a perfect story once you step away.  I love the texture of the brushstrokes.  I love that my brain adds many of the details that aren't included in Impressionism.  Truly, I would fill my home with pictures of the great Impressionists if I could.

My tastes are all over the place.  I do tend to focus on watercolor or chalk pastel work.  I like whimsical or unusual things, just because they make me laugh or smile more.  My Pinterest boards tend to reflect whatever is inspiring me at the moment.  One thing is for sure... I am completely in love with acorns and foxes.   Yes, I do know that is weird.  That's okay.  I wouldn't want to be overly normal anyway.

Pinterest: Art I love Pinterest: Acorns and Foxes

My FAVORITE art is Katie Daisy's stuff.  Every single thing she paints is like a breath of fresh air... a cup of great coffee...the feeling of sunshine on your skin after you step out of air conditioning.  It is good.   Her etsy

store is like a candy store.  Go take a peek!  The Wheatfield  I'm going to be honest... I'm not sure about posting pictures and copyright infringment, so I am not posting any pictures of her work, but seriously.... it is cheerful, meaningful, fun, and perfect.  I would have a print in every single room if I could.

I have several artists in my family.  One is my Aunt Janet.  She painted one of my very favorite paintings of my grandmother and I at a picnic.  It is a treasured memory and captures everything that was amazing about my grandmother.  She really was something.  I am thankful to have the painting as a reminder of both her and my Aunt who lives so far away.  

Another artist is my Great Aunt Libby.  She paints china, and it is beautiful.  She has made cups or piggy banks for my cousins and I and all of our children.  I inherited a Libby collection of items from my grandparents and I love them dearly.  I am often inspired by the delicate details she captures. 

 My grandmother Libby on my father's side was an artist as well.  I have no memories of her, but I have a box full of hand painted cards that she made for each one of my birthdays.  They are simple and whimsical, but treasures none the less.  

My brother-in-law is an artist.  His art is very different than what I would normally be drawn to, but there is an honesty to and story told by each piece.  The link under the picture sends you to his website.  ;) This is my favorite of his more recent work... 

 Love Polarity by Ben Patterson

Check out Ben's amazing video in which he creates a work of art in 7 days on camera.  He is truly gifted, and it's because of him that I am making sure to expose my children to ALL kinds of art.  I want my daughter, who loves to draw and paint, to explore her creativitiy as often as she wants to.  She has always wanted to be an artist, and I will make sure she has that opportunity.

Are you inspired by art?  Do you think art is beautiful?

Blessings,

Mandy

What is beautiful?

I have decor ADD.  

I can't stand to have my house the same for longer than 3 months.
I know I am not the only person who has this problem, right?  One of my besties and her mom have the same issue, so there are at least 3 of us in this big ole world with this issue.
Having the desire to change things constantly makes me reevaluate everything in my home constantly.  That is a good thing most of the time.  I still don't know what I want to do with my home.
When I first got married, I had no idea how to even keep a home.  We had hand-me-down furniture, an unholy amount of clutter, and everything I used for decor was country and Americana.  That is a perfectly fine style, but it didn't grow with me very long.  My home style remained the same for our first 4 homes.  I wanted to have a house that reflected me a bit more.  The clutter continued... {Anyone else come from a family that was terrified of minimalism?  If you know what I mean.  *wink wink*} but the style changed to reflect the current love of cottages, but the Americana remained.

  We lived in that home (in the desert) for 5 years.  That was when I realized how much I loved architecture and structure.  Living in rentals doesn't really lend itself to a lot of architectural change possibilities.  Things got more simple after another two moves into a beautiful big and awesome house!  I explored color and style more there than anywhere else.  My home was comfortable, less cluttered, and reflected not just me, but my whole family.  Another move, and I found myself in an awkward little house with broken furniture.  We started over thanks to Ikea.  Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out my style starting from scratch, so everything we bought from Ikea was black.  Almost everything in my home is black or white.   I know how weird that is for someone who really LOVES color.  The thing is.... I have a serious crippling case of color phobia.  What if I put the wrong color all over?  What if my house starts looking like a child's room, or some weird experiment?  What the heck is beautiful???

Do you understand how stressful that is???????


This year, I have decided to tackle this color issue.  I am realizing how important beautiful things are to me.  I know my idea of beautiful and yours might be very different, but it is the first time in my life, I am making sure to pay attention to the beauty around me.  It is a priority in my life to surround myself in my home with simple beautiful things... to give my children a beautiful childhood... to give my beloved husband a beautiful place of rest at the end of each day.
 My goal, for the month of June is to share with you some thoughts about beauty.  I will share my favorite art, my favorite quotes, my favorite people, and my favorite decor.  I can't wait to share some beauty that has touched my life with you.

I am looking forward to it!

Blessings,

Mandy

Moving kicked my rear

I was thinking about a title for this post, and I thought I would just be honest.  Moving kicked my butt, last year.  I moved a whole dang year ago.  How could it be that I am just NOW starting to feel like I am in my groove again?  I had a lot of personally devastating things happen before I moved here.  In all honesty, I feel like part of me died in the months prior to our move.  I thought it would be a new start.  I thought it would be a wonderful new, exciting, beautiful place full of adventures.  It was!  Well..... almost and not at all at the same time.
Part of the joy and frustration with military family life is that you move around a lot... in theory.  We haven't moved a lot.  In fact, I moved 3 times while my beloved was gone for 2.5 years at Basic, AIT, and Korea.  We then moved to Fort Irwin.  The post 37 miles away from the closest "town" in the middle of the Mojave desert in California.  I heard many people say they cried on the drive in because it was so devastating.  I LOVED it there.  My family thrived there.  We had an incredibly tight knit community there.  In fact, almost all of my closest and dearest friends were made there.   We lived there for almost 7 years.  There were people who moved shortly after we got there, went to 2 other duty stations and got back before we moved.  That was an eternity in Military life time.  We went to Fort Bliss in the desert of Texas after that.  Our 2 short years there felt like an eternity.  I was challenged in really great ways, and shaken in really terrible ways there.  It really was a place of extremes for me.  Then on to Fort Hood.  The tag line for Hood is "The Great Place."  After a year here, I really think they are referring to the size of the post rather than the quality.  What I am learning is that if you look, you can find some really amazing people here.  It just took forever for me to take the time to look.

These awesome people adjust so quickly to moving... they make themselves at home anywhere.  

Once we got settled into our house, we didn't know where we would fit in.  I have always been a part of PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) on post, but I wasn't sure if that would work with our homeschooling schedule.  I didn't know if we should get involved in one of the co-ops here because they usually require a lot of extra time and money, and we end up having to speed school on co-op days.  We knew the boys wanted to do Scouts again.  After quite a while, we ended up signing all of the boys up for Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts.  Anah talked us in to putting her in Girl Scouts.  (I know... I was very against it also.  She loves it.  She is using the skills for good things.  I do not want to argue about the political and spiritual correctness of Girl Scouts.)  I tried attending PWOC, but wasn't able to make it work in our schedule.  I also signed on to be a mentor mom at our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) on post.  We made lots of friends in the neighborhood. I have AMAZING, FUN, AWESOME neighbors.
Today was our last MOPS meeting.  I knew it was coming, but I wasn't prepared for the emotion of it.  I had only a few ladies in my group that were able to attend on a regular basis.  I thought maybe, just maybe, I could answer their questions and encourage them and that would be good enough.  I had the HONOR to get to know these ladies... to see their world, their struggles, their victories.  I celebrated potty training victories, cried and prayed with someone struggling with awful circumstances, and offered advice about organizing and planning.  These women gave me the opportunity to love on them and to enjoy their wonderful children.  I have had an entire afternoon to look back on the meeting and think about the year we had.  I have learned SO much from these women.  They have such amazing strength.  I will never, ever underestimate the strength of MOPS Mamas again.  These are generous, kind, brave, selfless women who are doing everything they can to provide the best life possible for their children.  I thought I would say good bye, keep up with them on fb, and that would be it.  I think my heart hurts a little thinking about not seeing them every month.  Those women, who I was supposed to mentor, touched my life in ways I couldn't imagine.  They helped heal my heart.   They gave me purpose and hope.  They held me to a high standard, and that made me step up my game.  I am a better mother today because of MOPS.  I am beginning to heal from my off year because of the love and friendship I found there.
It seems that hope and healing often come from unexpected places.  I know we are to be on the lookout for miracles.  I know there are big ones and little ones happening every day.  My MOPS group was that miracle for me.  The Lord knew that is exactly what I needed.  I wasn't a particularly good mentor mom.  I was myself though, and they accepted me and allowed me to be their quiet cheerleader.
Now I know, just as I have learned at every single duty station.... The very best way to get over a moving funk is to get involved.... to serve someone else.  We often reap so much more than we sow.

Do you have good opportunities for fellowship in your community?

Blessings,
Mandy

Two Inconsistent Blogs

Now you don't have to hear me talk about homeschooling all the time if you don't want to!  I have a homeschool blog that I will keep all the edu-speak on while focusing on family and faith on here.  I will post the link on here, and you can head over if you want.  :-) 

  Here's to hoping my plan works!

http://presenthomeschooling.blogspot.com/2014/05/another-one.html

My Dirty Little Secret

This post is a difficult one to write.  I feel like it is time to write it though.  I know there are a lot of mothers out there struggling.  I remember how many times I spent Mother's Day feeling completely guilt ridden because I didn't feel like I deserved recognition.  I often feel like I have failed.  Why would someone so happy with everything all the time feel that way?  That is my secret.  I feel like I guarded it long enough.

I haven't always liked my children.  

Truthfully, there were times I questioned my love for them.

I have felt they would be better off without me.

There have been some phases of motherhood that have been more than I could handle.  There have been so many times I have questioned what on Earth I was doing raising children.  There were so many times I felt like giving up.

There was the having a baby, toddler, and preschooler stage, immediately followed by the pregnant and sick with a baby, toddler, and preschooler stage.  That merged into 3 in diapers (Hello 4 under 4), 2 not walking, and me completely overwhelmed trying to pretend I had it all together.  How about 3 potty training at the same time?  Thank goodness my last baby was a girl who got to underwear first and inspired her older brother to give up his diapers!  I am pretty sure they all did half a decade of the "terrible twos" together, and then have some moments now that remind me of those times.  We have spent most of their lives without their father in the house, but we are all thankful for our military family.  The children didn't really get to know their father until we moved to our current home, a year ago.  It has been a long journey for our family already.  We are finally in a really good place.    

I spent most of their childhood being the only person taking care of every aspect of their lives.  They have spent some time in public school, but never all at once.  I thought it was my job to take care of all of their needs, maintain a spotless home, cook incredible meals, keep a well stocked freezer full of meals to share, bake up a storm to share at my husband's work to make him look good, volunteer anywhere and everywhere I could, say yes to anyone's plea for help, take care of all of my friend's families and their children, have extravagant holidays all year round, do crafty things daily with the children, teach and participate in every Bible study offered, and somehow be happy all the time.   At times, I could pull some of that off, but never, ever all of it.  That isn't possible.  We aren't meant to do everything for everybody.  we aren't mean to be everything to everybody.

You know who is?  God

Trying to take the reins and control everything cost me so much.  I was worn out.  My body, mind, and soul were just done.  I didn't want to be home with my children.  I didn't want to spend time with friends.  I just wanted out.  I thought I wanted to work, to have my own life, finally.  I thought that everything I had ever done at home meant nothing.  I still struggle finding the value of being a stay at home parent.  I just was lost.  I missed out on so many opportunities to get to know my children.  I missed out on experiences and fun I could have had with my husband.  I was living a wasted life.  No wonder I felt like every day was just a race for survival.

You can't live like that.

Boy, is that the truth.  It is impossible to maintain that.  I HAD to change.  I HAD to find a way to make my life worthwhile.  I had to find a way to see my children differently, and to be involved in my marriage.

One baby step at a time, I started to get better.
 I gave over the things I had no control of to The Lord.  Guess what?  He handled it!  All I had to do was realize that I am weak and broken in my humanity, and give up the control.

  It sounds simple.
     It wasn't.
         It was worth it.

  I began speaking truths over my children.  I referred to my most frustrating child as my "dependable and big hearted" one.  My absent-minded child was called "smart and creative" when introduced to new people.  I started making sure that I took what I was frustrated with, or what I saw as weakness was turned around to be positive.  The result?  I started seeing my children in a different light.  I think they started seeing themselves and each other differently.  Our home became more peaceful.  We had harmony.

I began looking for things to be thankful for in my life.  It's funny how much more you love your life when you constantly see little things to be thankful for.  Look around?  Even in the trenches of motherhood... when you haven't had a moment to yourself in days, and you smell like baby vomit, there is something to be thankful for.  I asked The Lord to show me, to make me completely aware of the things in my life I should be thankful for.  He has remained faithful.

So What is the point?  I am not the most amazing mother.  I might not even be a particularly good mother.  I love my children.  I like them now that I have a different perspective.  Hearts can change.  People can change.  Life is beautiful, if you look for the beauty.  Turn to heaven... often.

That is all.

Blessings,
Mandy

The Dang Junk Drawer

"It's in the dang junk drawer."  

Please tell me EVERYONE has at least one junk drawer.  You just thought about your drawer, right?  The one that doesn't always close?  The one where every random item in your house disappears and breeds to create more random messy chaos.
Here's where I may loose a few of you.... Do you ever feel like you are changing your life when you maintain an organized junk drawer?   Does a clean drawer make you feel.... complete?
Still with me?
I have two random item breeding drawers.  They started out as harmless places to hold things we needed often, but didn't have special containers for.  They quickly, and often turn into drawer sized pits of despair.  Too dramatic?  It feels that way to me.  You can easily tell how in control of my life I feel by the state of these drawers.  I have one that holds pens, tape, sticky notes, matches, random 3m things, and a lot of those kind of useful everyday items.  I have another that holds all of the measuring and serving spoons, and other fun kitchen gadgets.  You have those drawers, right?  Right?  See...

Cleaning those drawers and being able to open them and find EXACTLY what I am looking for without having to dig.... heaven.  That kind of order brings me all kinds of joy.
My life is kind of like that.  Sometimes I let so many junky things pile up, I can't seem to find myself underneath it all.  I forget the important things, and can't focus on what I need to.  I become easily distracted by one mess or another.  We all have times like that.  We feel like we are in a fog, as if life keeps happening around us, but not to us.  Sometimes we just need to dump everything out and start again.  Taking the time to empty the junk out and to keep the important things in order is important.  It is worth the time.
My first year here at Ft. Hood wasn't so awesome.  I was depressed, insecure, and hopeless.  It has taken almost a year to pull myself back together.  I had to sort through a lot of things in my life in order to put the important things in the forefront.  I had to deal with a lot of things that have been messing with me for decades.

 I am not done figuring things out yet.  

In the middle of my mid-life clean out, I figured out I had no idea who I really was.  How does one get to be um... older than 29... *cough* and not have a CLUE what their passions/hobbies/preferences are?  I'm figuring it out.  Things are falling into place.  I can finally SEE exactly what I need to see.
I cleaned out the junk drawers today.  Organizing makes me happy.  Order is important to me, because it makes my home more peaceful.  Creating a peaceful, organized, happy home is a passion of mine.  I learned that this past year.  Want to see how I feel about my life these days?

Busy. Full. Organized. Useful. Purposeful. Blessed.
Clean out your junk drawers... it just might help you figure out a bit more about yourself.

Blessings,
Mandy

let's be real...

Have you ever felt like you had to fit into a certain mold?  Have you ever let other's expectations of you take over and force you to loose who you really are?  

I have.  

I have wanted to be a blogger for years.  I always promise I'll get back to it, then get all caught up in the what kind of blogger are you thing.  Am I going to be a blogger who actually makes money from their blog?  Probably not.  I don't have a lot of serious wisdom, I am not incredibly talented in any area, and I am not overly passionate about any one thing in particular. I have felt almost crippled by the whole process.  I don't want to ONLY write about one thing or another.  I am not that kind of person.  I am a little all over the place sometimes, but in a relatively orderly manner.  That might just work for this blog.  I am giving myself permission to write about WHATEVER here.  You know what that means?  It means I will actually blog.  It means you will get to see a little more real, and a little less ideal, and I am okay with that.

Here is the deal: 

 I am a Soldier's wife.  I am not the "Army wife, toughest job in the Army" kind of person.  I am INCREDIBLY proud of my husband's service, but I do not have a cammo brag bag, wear pt's to the grocery store, or have a million military related stickers on my van. Military life is difficult.  Soldiers have crazy lives, and it is our job to support and encourage them so that they are able to do their best.  Some things like moving away from your favorite people often, or explaining to your children that their Dad will not make it to their birthday again makes it a challenge.  This is our life.  We chose it.  I know that life in general is a challenge, so I am trying to focus on the positive things and enjoy this time in our lives.  My husband will not be in forever, and I will miss the unity one has with Army sisters.  

I am a Soldier's wife with 4 children.  My children are older now, so I am able to do more things away from my home.  We really love parks and exploring new places, so I focus on those things.  When they need extra time at home to remember what being a part of a family is all about, or they forget how to behave in public, I take that time regardless of what we have going on.  I am responsible for doing my absolute best to equip these young people with the skills and tools they need to be the very best versions of themselves.  It is time consuming and completely overwhelming sometimes.  These are real people.  We have real experiences.  Some days are awful, and some are so good it feels like we experience a taste of heaven.  

I am a Soldier's wife with 4 children who I homeschool.  That means a significant portion of my brain is CONSTANTLY occupied by lesson plans, curriculum, and random weird historical or scientific facts.  I am constantly planning, researching, or working on school related things.  It is something that I feel very knowledgeable about, and am passionate about talking about.  Homeschooling isn't for everyone.  It isn't easy.  It isn't always fun, or as fruitful as I would like it to be.  Other times, it is amazing.  I love learning new things with my children.  It is what works for us, and I will probably talk about it a lot.  I am not going to apologize for that.  

I am the kind of person who collects information, a true researcher.  I want to share so many things with everyone.  Why not use this blog as a place for that?  I chose { Present in Each Moment } as my title, because that is how I want to live.  Sharing more of my real experience, my knowledge, my passions is part of that process.  

Still with me?  Good.  Thank you.  Thank you for letting me be real, for letting me let go of the constant need to apologize for being myself, for not fitting into the mold.  Why would we want to be the same anyway?  Life is meant to be an adventure, a collection of a great many random and unique experiences.  Now, you get to hear about the ones I have, and I hope to get to know some of you in the process.

Blessings,

Mandy