Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Dang Junk Drawer

"It's in the dang junk drawer."  
Please tell me EVERYONE has at least one junk drawer.  You just thought about your drawer, right?  The one that doesn't always close?  The one where every random item in your house disappears and breeds to create more random messy chaos.
Here's where I may loose a few of you.... Do you ever feel like you are changing your life when you maintain an organized junk drawer?   Does a clean drawer make you feel.... complete?
Still with me?
I have two random item breeding drawers.  They started out as harmless places to hold things we needed often, but didn't have special containers for.  They quickly, and often turn into drawer sized pits of despair.  Too dramatic?  It feels that way to me.  You can easily tell how in control of my life I feel by the state of these drawers.  I have one that holds pens, tape, sticky notes, matches, random 3m things, and a lot of those kind of useful everyday items.  I have another that holds all of the measuring and serving spoons, and other fun kitchen gadgets.  You have those drawers, right?  Right?  See...
Cleaning those drawers and being able to open them and find EXACTLY what I am looking for without having to dig.... heaven.  That kind of order brings me all kinds of joy.
My life is kind of like that.  Sometimes I let so many junky things pile up, I can't seem to find myself underneath it all.  I forget the important things, and can't focus on what I need to.  I become easily distracted by one mess or another.  We all have times like that.  We feel like we are in a fog, as if life keeps happening around us, but not to us.  Sometimes we just need to dump everything out and start again.  Taking the time to empty the junk out and to keep the important things in order is important.  It is worth the time.
My first year here at Ft. Hood wasn't so awesome.  I was depressed, insecure, and hopeless.  It has taken almost a year to pull myself back together.  I had to sort through a lot of things in my life in order to put the important things in the forefront.  I had to deal with a lot of things that have been messing with me for decades.

 I am not done figuring things out yet.  

In the middle of my mid-life clean out, I figured out I had no idea who I really was.  How does one get to be um... older than 29... *cough* and not have a CLUE what their passions/hobbies/preferences are?  I'm figuring it out.  Things are falling into place.  I can finally SEE exactly what I need to see.
I cleaned out the junk drawers today.  Organizing makes me happy.  Order is important to me, because it makes my home more peaceful.  Creating a peaceful, organized, happy home is a passion of mine.  I learned that this past year.  Want to see how I feel about my life these days?

Busy. Full. Organized. Useful. Purposeful. Blessed.
Clean out your junk drawers... it just might help you figure out a bit more about yourself.


Monday, April 7, 2014

let's be real...

Have you ever felt like you had to fit into a certain mold?  Have you ever let other's expectations of you take over and force you to loose who you really are?  
I have.  
I have wanted to be a blogger for years.  I always promise I'll get back to it, then get all caught up in the what kind of blogger are you thing.  Am I going to be a blogger who actually makes money from their blog?  Probably not.  I don't have a lot of serious wisdom, I am not incredibly talented in any area, and I am not overly passionate about any one thing in particular. I have felt almost crippled by the whole process.  I don't want to ONLY write about one thing or another.  I am not that kind of person.  I am a little all over the place sometimes, but in a relatively orderly manner.  That might just work for this blog.  I am giving myself permission to write about WHATEVER here.  You know what that means?  It means I will actually blog.  It means you will get to see a little more real, and a little less ideal, and I am okay with that.

Here is the deal: 
 I am a Soldier's wife.  I am not the "Army wife, toughest job in the Army" kind of person.  I am INCREDIBLY proud of my husband's service, but I do not have a cammo brag bag, wear pt's to the grocery store, or have a million military related stickers on my van. Military life is difficult.  Soldiers have crazy lives, and it is our job to support and encourage them so that they are able to do their best.  Some things like moving away from your favorite people often, or explaining to your children that their Dad will not make it to their birthday again makes it a challenge.  This is our life.  We chose it.  I know that life in general is a challenge, so I am trying to focus on the positive things and enjoy this time in our lives.  My husband will not be in forever, and I will miss the unity one has with Army sisters.  
I am a Soldier's wife with 4 children.  My children are older now, so I am able to do more things away from my home.  We really love parks and exploring new places, so I focus on those things.  When they need extra time at home to remember what being a part of a family is all about, or they forget how to behave in public, I take that time regardless of what we have going on.  I am responsible for doing my absolute best to equip these young people with the skills and tools they need to be the very best versions of themselves.  It is time consuming and completely overwhelming sometimes.  These are real people.  We have real experiences.  Some days are awful, and some are so good it feels like we experience a taste of heaven.  
I am a Soldier's wife with 4 children who I homeschool.  That means a significant portion of my brain is CONSTANTLY occupied by lesson plans, curriculum, and random weird historical or scientific facts.  I am constantly planning, researching, or working on school related things.  It is something that I feel very knowledgeable about, and am passionate about talking about.  Homeschooling isn't for everyone.  It isn't easy.  It isn't always fun, or as fruitful as I would like it to be.  Other times, it is amazing.  I love learning new things with my children.  It is what works for us, and I will probably talk about it a lot.  I am not going to apologize for that.  
I am the kind of person who collects information, a true researcher.  I want to share so many things with everyone.  Why not use this blog as a place for that?  I chose { Present in Each Moment } as my title, because that is how I want to live.  Sharing more of my real experience, my knowledge, my passions is part of that process.  
Still with me?  Good.  Thank you.  Thank you for letting me be real, for letting me let go of the constant need to apologize for being myself, for not fitting into the mold.  Why would we want to be the same anyway?  Life is meant to be an adventure, a collection of a great many random and unique experiences.  Now, you get to hear about the ones I have, and I hope to get to know some of you in the process.