Friday, June 6, 2014

Being an Imperfect Mother is BEAUTIFUL

I feel like I know an awful lot about imperfection.

As a person crippled by perfectionism, it can be a complicated thing.  I am beginning to have a really ugly relationship with Pinterest.  I go back and forth between LOVING how easy it is to organize information for reference later, and HATING how frustrating not being able to do MOST of the things I pin is.  Inevitably, I will end up going back and pinning a million more things I want to do, and hating my inability to manage time to do six million things a minute. But hey, I've probably got a pin for increasing productivity.

Who said we had to do weeks of crafts before every single holiday?  Some holidays, when I am really on top of things, we do a lot of crafts and activities.  Some holidays, I am thrilled to just make it through without my children noticing we did nothing.

Who said we had to spend hours and hours baking and decorating every single birthday cake?  You know what?  I bought ice cream cake for my daughter last year.  I LOVED how easy it was, and how very happy it made her.

Who said we have to live up to other people's ideas when it comes to mothering?

We don't.

Why do we do that to ourselves?  Each of us is going through something completely different than the person next to us.  We all have different children, who are in different stages, dealing with life differently.  WHY on earth would we think we have to do everything as well as, or in the same manner as someone else?  Why is there so little encouragement and grace in the mothering community?  Why are we not celebrating our differences and reminding each other to just do our best.  My best may look a lot like your worst.  Your best may look pretty similar to another person's worst.  There is no point in comparing.  We won't get anywhere with that.

Can you imagine a world where we all got together and celebrated each other's parenting.  I'm not talking about congratulating a mom who beats her children for being mother of the year.  I am talking about most moms.  Moms who are waking up each day with the intention of doing their very best for their family. The mothers who spend each day giving of themselves again and again in an effort to fill their children's love tanks.  I am talking about all of the moms out there who go to bed at the end of the day feeling guilty for not being able to do more, give more, create more.  I believe in my heart that most mothers go out of their way almost every day to make the world a better place.  So often, at the end of the day they feel like they haven't been successful.

Mama.... you are enough.

You will never be a perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your children.  The fact that you have the child or children you do is not a mistake.  Every day you make the choice to do your best, every time you start over (even the days when that has to happen hourly), you are doing something great for your children.  Childhood goes by so very quickly.  If we don't invest early and often with our time and our love, we will miss it.  You don't have to get it right every time.

Let them see you fail.
     Let them see you struggle.
          Let them see you broken.


Let them see you try again.
     Let them see you choose to not give up.
          Let them see you ask for forgiveness and accept help.

Embrace imperfection.  Celebrate it in each other.  Love on another imperfect friend.  Allow your children to be imperfect as well, and show them how wonderful it is to get back up and try again.

Imperfectly yours,

1 comment:

  1. I have also found that it helps to remind the kids, that we have not done this before. I just recently told Brooklyn- "Your dad and I have never had a 9 year old before, we are trying the best we can, that's why we change things up when it doesn't provide the outcome we anticipated". She seemed to be very perceptive to the fact that her parents were just as clueless at raising a 9 year old, as she was at BEING one. :-) Much love, keep it up Mandy! - Alicia